2015 struck me in many ways, I lived hell. From January 15 to somewhere in March 16, that's about 15 months of pain and suffering. So, what happened?
Things started off with my breakup. My first love left me, and it was painful. I've did the error to remain friends, which let me aware of every "fun" story she had with others, consuming me a bit more each time.
Most likely because of the lovesickness, I've been unable to focus on the end of my internship. Eventually, my entire work got invalidated there, 6 months down the drains. I couldn't get to pass some of the new courses following these bad news, so I left that aside and tried to work on "My Little Miner V5 : Volcabrone", a project I had planed for a while ago. An artist was available to help me out, and so we worked together, as much as we both could thanks to a online friend I've made about 5 years ago.
But things went from bad to worse. It took me three months to realize the artist had no interest in my project and was only in for recognition and credit, and so she took the first opportunity to go back on things we agreed on before. She left the project without a warning, leaving me with assets I no longer had any rights on to replace assets I don't have any rights on. I paid ~70€ and 3 months of my time to dig my own grave.
I couldn't keep it all inside anymore, so I vented all of my frustration on her. I've said thing you shouldn't really say on someone with low self-esteem, because it was all I had left to lower the pressure and avoid a mental breakdown. Goes without saying I never had a conversation with her again. Unfortunately, I lost my other friend as well.
The next month was when I somehow detected my ex was about to enter a long term love with someone else (it happened), so I finally had the guts to put a definitive end to this relationship and never talk to that girl again. For the rest of the year, I've been fighting and weeping against the lovesickness that followed up. and somewhere in the end of the year, extra pressure was added when my family pointed me that I'm getting out of money soon and I had to do something.
March 16, it stopped hurting. I sort of saw myself starting to rebirth - a bit like a phoenix, feeling alive again with my surrounding life in ashes from the burns of the past year. So I started taking new job opportunities, meeting companies and so.
April 16, Got a new internship. 4 months to "slow down" my dangerous financial situation. But I did very well - so well in fact I could get to work two extra months with a promotion. Did well again, and what I was still thinking to be temporary two months ago became a permanent contract this month.
I didn't give up and ended up achieving the goal of my entire journey in Paris to begin with : complete my studies to get a job. Well I didn't really complete my studies, but I did end up getting a job with a decent starting pay. My situation is promising, my family is celebrating, and there's still room for even more improvements
That's why I recently got myself to open up a little on twitter recently and also come back on MLM: DiM to restore/add new stat/replay features.
Looking back, I went through amazing things. I now understand that lovesickness is a serious condition that can really trash someone's life, that there's still hope when you think you're done for, and that the best person you can count on 100% is yourself.
Thanks for reading.
And for those who have been with me since the beginning of my various adventures, you're part of the reason why I could get to heal up faster. thanks you again!